Morbid Thoughts
Recently, I learned that a close
friend of mine passed away. He was the victim of an assassin, felled by gunshot
right in front of his son. I was aghast upon learning the news, I never
expected such a tragic end would befall upon my friend. Though we had shared
same adventures and revolved in the same shady circles, last I heard he had
also turned a new leaf.
Even though I didn’t shed a tear,
I felt a sudden feeling of sadness creep inside me. Flashbacks of our
misadventures flooded my mind, as I tried to recall the last time we spoke and
spent time together. It was quite disheartening to realize we won’t be sharing
any more in the near future. The guy had been there for me in one of the craziest and tumultuous
episodes of my life. I was in need of a friend and he heeded the call.
The feeling of losing somebody
dear, to death, is quite a new experience for me. Though quite a number of
friends and relatives have passed away, I didn’t have a real strong bond
with them, thus the loss was not as depressing. The loss of my close buddy was
different though. I still feel sad when I think about him, gone forever, lost
to the eternal beyond. I could only hope and pray that he is well wherever he
is and that his child would overcome the trauma of his death.
As I ponder about these things,
questions about my own mortality well up in my head and I try to reflect on the
things I did in my life. I’ve realized that as I grow older, the inevitability
of facing death draws nearer to me and my loved ones. Gone are the foolish
notions of invulnerability and eternal youth replaced by thoughts of how to
implement a healthy lifestyle and the optimal use of borrowed time. Worries of
how the end will come and what the afterlife has in store barrage my thoughts.
Shivers run down my spine as I contemplate on these morbid thoughts. I silently
utter a prayer hoping that my end would be quick and painless.
It suddenly dawns on me, worrying about the
unknown will lead me nowhere, Life is too short to worry too much about losing
it. What we have to do is make the most of the time we have. To appreciate
first of all, that we are still given the precious gift of time. We still have
the chance to make right some mistakes of the past, to renew lost friendships,
to build up broken relationships. For me, it’s not how much you have earned or
how far you have climbed the ladder of success that matters most, but the
quality of the relationships you made and have. Death is a grim reminder we are
on a one way journey through life, we should often stop, smell the roses and enjoy
the views.
Ultimately, death will come to
collect us all but it won’t matter how we die, what matters is how we lived.
