Rants, Raves & Restless Thoughts

Wake up, Eat, Work for 10 hours, Eat, Watch
TV or DVD, Tinker with the laptop, Sleep.  Repeat 6 days a week. On the night of the
sixth day, either do the laundry and some menial chores or go out to drink with
some friends if there’s booze available or engage in warfare and conquer evil
forces through network games with some buddies. On the seventh day, sleep,
sleep, sleep and eat, that is if it’s declared as a non-working Friday,
otherwise resume regular daily routine. Come salary time send money home, shop
for supplies, and eat at a fancy place then go back to regular programming. Repeat
for three hundred sixty five days or until parole (read: scheduled vacation
leave). This has been my daily / monthly pattern for the past year. Gratefully,
I have survived and adapted to this new lifestyle which is so unlike the life I
used to live, barely earning enough but happy with the company of loved ones.

 

Though it has been a painfully boring routine
at times, it is undeniable that it has been financially rewarding. However, it
sometimes feels that the sacrifice isn’t worth it, especially when the longing
for the company of your nearest and dearest sets in. For a person who believes
that the best things in life can not be compensated by money, it is an ironic
dilemma, to be earning well but yearning for the company of the people he
treasures most,  all the time. The ends they say will justify the means,
but does it really?

 

During drinking sessions with friends, we
occasionally talk about the drone-like existence we endure just to earn well,
observations about the Philippines; the advantages of our culture and our flaws
as a people which impede our nations’ progress aside from the regular topics of
the best buy laptops, the next cool gadget, vacation plans, the necessitated practice
of celibacy, sex, cup sizes, fantasies, fetishes, women, sports and what to do
next weekend to avoid boredom. On several semi-somber/sober occasions we
discussed if working back home would still be an option, what would be the
ultimate result and other by-products of working away from the family and how
long will we be in servitude of foreign masters toiling far away from the
homeland?

 

We have collectively agreed that we would
probably survive if we chose to seek employment back home, then again that
would mean going back to the circus, doing the financial juggling act and being
the underpaid multi-tasking workhorse. If we can get employed as an executive in
a prestigious multi-national company, our fortunes might change. However I
think it would be easier to prove that unicorns and vampires exist, rather than
be fortunate enough to be hired by a blue-chip company with the vast
competition that abound. With these thoughts in mind, we come to the conclusion
that working in the Philippines
under the current economic situation would be the final option.

On the other hand this would mean many more
years of staying employed overseas, an option I personally find unpleasant and
unacceptable. I abhor the thought of missing more milestones in my children’s
life. It has always been my dream to be an active participant in their lives,
as they find their way through the path of their life.  To be able to share with them their joys and
pains, to impart some of the wonderful and harsh lessons I’ve learned, to be
their buddy and adviser, to see my daughter transform into a woman and my sons
become men. These are the moments in a person’s life that cannot be compensated
by any amount of money.

 

A veteran OFW tells me, that missing out on
a child’s transformation is part and parcel of a migrant worker’s way of life,
lest he can bring his family to the host country where he works. Unfortunately,
this is an option limited only to a handful of OFW’s, for not all companies
/  employers support such endeavors.

 

Another buddy narrates the tale of a
migrant worker who has spent most of his life employed overseas to support his
family and see his children through school. He comes home only once a year, as
an OFW usually does. Finally, retiring from his job after the youngest child
has completed his studies. He hopes to finally spend some quality time with his
family, following years of being far away. As luck would have it the tables are
turned, it is his turn to be to be left behind. This time by his children, some
who already have families of their own and flew the coop while the others have
sought employment abroad to seek their own fortune.

 

As I listen to his heartrending story, I remember
a friend who had an OFW father. His dad provided for them well, gave them the
best gifts and sent them to first-rate schools when he was younger. To make the
story short after his studies his dad came home and that was the time their
disagreements began. The praises he previously showered upon his father for
sending him the best gifts had been replaced by resentment and complaints. They
didn’t notice it, but it was quite obvious, they were strangers. In my friends’
eyes, his father has been a good provider / giver of gifts but not a really dad
and probably in his father’s eyes, he was just another mouth to feed and sent
to school, a responsibility to be honored and not really a son.

 

Hearing such tragic tales makes me wonder
if this is the end that will justify the means. In an ironic sense, I guess it
does, but ultimately it won’t be worth the sacrifice. One has carried out his
duty as a good provider but at the cost of being an absentee parent resulting
in a shallow relationship. It is too steep a price to pay just to fulfill an
obligation. Time lost can never be regained, other means can be found to
meet a need. As I see it at the end of our borrowed time, our family won’t
be reminiscing how much we had given them in our absence but how loved we made
them feel while we were in their presence.

 

I utter a prayer and hope my fate will be
different from the stories I heard. But until the day I change my destiny,
stuck to the usual routine I shall be.

 

Wake up. Eat. Work for 10 hours. Sleep……..

* OFW=Overseas Filipino Worker

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 12th, 2006 at 9:58 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.