Rants, Raves & Restless Thoughts

There was a time during my freshman year at
the state university, which I can still memorably recall. I was riding the bus heading
to los baños, when the cute and sexy girl sitting beside me strikes up a
conversation. After a short introduction and small talk, she inquires if she
can ask a personal question. I nod in reply and mischievously await the
personal question she would ask, while conceiving of some naughty personal
questions I’d like to ask her in return. “Are you saved?” she innocently
inquires, politely I ask her to explain what she means. In the back of my head,
Pffftttt!!!…goes my naïve fantasy, dissipating into thin air. My excitement
turns into sheer disgust; a person I barely know admonishes me about the perils
of not having a personal relationship with  Jhey-Zus. Had she not been a cutie / hottie, I
would’ve rudely told her off or contested every word she said but being a
gentleman(iac), I obliged her instead . She continued to rant the rest
of the trip and I uttered a silent prayer that there be no traffic, so I can
reach my destination quickly and escape the clutches of the cute raving Jhey-Zus
fanatic. It had been quite a memorable encounter with a religious nut, not the
first but neither the last.

It’s quite amusing to observe what our religion
/ faith drives us to do. To approach a total stranger and ask if his soul has
been redeemed takes either a lot of guts or blind obedience to one’s beliefs. Faith
can have a very positive effect on a person; it can lift his spirits when he is
in the pits, it can provide hope to those who have none and it can heal
emotional wounds conventional medicines cannot mend. On the other hand
misplaced faith can have disastrous effects as well; people have banded and
unleashed terror in the name of their religion, people have been persecuted and
massacred in the name of cleansing their faith. As a result some people out of outrage
have denounced religion altogether. With the scandals involving religious
leaders, the division and conflict of the people due to widespread
misinformation plus the mudslinging of various religious denominations, can we
blame these people for turning their back on religion altogether?

All major religions have almost the same
doctrine and preach the same creed, albeit with different forms of delivery,
the basic message remains the same; Love your god, love / respect your
neighbor, be kind, be generous, have faith in your god, don’t lie, don’t steal,
among several other commandments which are often commonly proclaimed. Some denominations
even have similar deities, though having different names and status in the
hierarchy but basically performing the same function. It makes me wonder why
countries have gone to war in the name of faith and why people have been and
are continuously oppressed, persecuted and executed due to their religious
conviction. Why can’t we all peacefully co-exist and respect each others
beliefs just as our religion enjoins us to do?

As I see it, religion in itself is not the
root of the conflict but the people behind it. Two individuals may
interpret the same message in a different way, how much more a whole populace? History
shows us the command to ‘spread the word of God’ has been exploited by many a
leader with grandiose ambitions of world domination. Though spreading God’s
word can be done without the use of force, these charismatic leaders of men
influenced the citizenry to join their cause, leading vast armies to conquer
‘pagan’ nations. Eventually leading to massive bloodshed, subjugation and
forced conversion of the subdued population, in effect spreading the wrong
message of the lord. Whilst the message to be preached is  ‘love one another unconditionally’, the
message that is conveyed is ‘love your neighbor / enemy only if he shares the
same faith, otherwise conquer and convert these neighbors / enemies so you can
love (and enslave) them’.

Even at this present day and age, a handful
or persons manipulate their religion to bend the will of their followers.
Invoking the name of their deity and calling for a holy war to justify
terrorism and genocide. Surprisingly, there are still numerous persons who
blindly follow the unholy exhortations of their religious leaders, as if they
had no other choice and it was their divine duty. It is ironic that a message
of love and peace can bring about so much chaos and carnage when abused by ruthless
power-mongers. To add insult to injury, these people feel no remorse but
instead feel divinely righteous for accomplishing the will of their lord.

These people are comparable to some
spiritual leaders from different denominations who fail to practice what they
preach but instead manipulate the power of their position to enrich themselves
or lure oblivious victims to sate their lusts. They exploit their supporters
trust, leading them to self-serving undertakings instead of more godly pursuits.
These are the same individuals who are quick to pass judgement on other persons,
without batting an eyelash they hastily condemn the non-believer, the non-practicing
devotee, the immoral and unrighteous, blind to their own reflection in the
mirror. Though not all religious icons
and lay leaders are as heretical, these religious impostors inadvertently drag
the religion they represent with them as they fall from grace.

The misinterpretation and misrepresentation
of the divine message is sacrilegious and devastatingly tragic when manipulated
by ambitious people. It is inevitable though, for religious leaders are just
human, imperfect beings bombarded daily by temptations, some with less strength
of character can’t help but yield to it. However, the disdainful deeds of a
handful of persons should not discourage us from keeping the faith (in our
religion) nor prompt us to convert to other denominations.

Shifting religious affiliation won’t resolve
the issue and neither would turning into an atheist improve the situation. The
problem should be faced head on in order to find a rational and tangible
solution. Clichéd as it may sound but change does come from within. However
skeptical we are on influencing the multitude, we should at least try to
implement reform within us and in our own families, so that someday the seed of
change we plant today might bear fruit for our future generations. For unless
we broaden our way of thinking and truly ingest the heart of the divine message,
we shall remain as blind as some of our leaders who are also groping in the
dark and eventually end up like any other fanatic, following blindly false
beliefs. Someday it might be our children who would pose the question to an
unsuspecting stranger, similar to the hot religious nut I met in college. I can
almost hear the future go….. Pffftttt!!!

On occasions when homesickness gets the
best of me, I usually browse digital photos of my loved ones to ease my
yearning. It makes me grateful for the technology of photography, I find it
amazing that cherished moments in time can be frozen through the lens of a
camera. As I peruse my children’s photographs, I can’t help but feel a sense of
nostalgia. They have grown a lot in such a short span of time, they now have
crushes and opinions of their own, yet it seems just like yesterday when they
were still mumbling gibberish and feebly struggling to take their first few
steps. Seeing them grow up so fast somehow inspires me to have a trip down
memory lane and recollect about my own lost youth.

 
It really doesn’t feel like a lifetime has
passed when I too was once but a child, when Christmas and summer time had
magical meaning and my needs and desires were much simpler and uncomplicated,
craving only for toys and playtime while worrying only about homework and
chores. Work, politics, religion, sex, girls and relationships were not yet in
my vocabulary while fantasies of either being a ninja, a Jedi knight, a WWF
wrestler, a samurai warrior or superman consumed and inspired my dreams. It is
as if it all just happened recently, I can still even recall most of my friends’
names in grade school, although I probably wouldn’t be able to recognize some
of them. If there was something that I’m
quite particularly fond of recalling during this early stage of my life, it’s
that I had once made my parents proud, by being consistently among the top of
my class back then.

 
Unfortunately it didn’t last long, as I
failed to replicate the feat in high school, since angst and other
complications of adolescence set in. I remember being determined not to be
labeled a nerd, thus the average performance in my studies. However I
did excel in ‘extra-curricular’ endeavors, like bowling, billiards and barkada aside
from learning to drink and smoke among other “activities”. It was also during
this point in time that I had met some lifetime friends with whom I shared
countless mischievous misadventures.

 
College life was a fun filled and
outrageous roller-coaster ride emotionally and academically, which at times I look
back upon with awe and regret. Starting out at the state U was a blast. I was
initiated to independence, living away from my family for the first time in my
life. Like a wild animal that had been set free, I spent most of the time
partying, which eventually lead to my premature exile from my beloved school
and early return home. Everything went downhill from there as my rebellious
spirit reached its peak and I unknowingly allowed my hatred to consume my whole
being. Thankfully I came to my senses just in time and pursued the course which
I believe was destined for me, but had tried desperately to avoid due to
misplaced anger and pride.

 
As I continue to muse over my early life, I
smile as I come across some happy memories whilst I feel a tinge of sadness and
regret on other depressing recollections and missed opportunities. On the other
hand, I am alarmed at how fast time has seemed to speed by. Reminiscent of a
stray bullet which whizzes by, catching an unknowing bystander unaware, he only
feels the excruciating pain as the hard hot steel pierces his soft supple skin.
It seems as if in just a blink of an eye, we have lost our innocence and our
youth. Sooner than we know it, we’ll be facing middle age challenges. Only then
will we look in hindsight and ask our self where the time has gone, and
fruitlessly try to pick our brains, rummaging through the archives of our
memory for the time lost to oblivion.

 
I’ve come to realize that time is a
precious commodity we often take for granted, believing we always have time in
our hands and tomorrow is still far-away. Often we find ourselves tied up at work, business or in pursuit of some
other undertaking that we believe would give us self-fulfillment, we barely
notice that time has flown past us. Not until we see streaks of gray that
naturally highlight our hair or when our child knocks us back to our senses by
answering us rudely, signifying that the cycle of life will soon come full
circle and we shall soon find our self in the bottom of its loop. Even so, some
still fail to grasp that we are in a countdown, every second ticking like a bomb
ready to explode and with every instant that passes, our time and those of our
loved ones slowly trickle away like the sand in an hourglass. It is imperative
that we should regularly assess if we are investing the limited time we have in
truly worthwhile endeavors, hence when our time finally runs out we would have
no regrets.

 
Sometimes it’s distressing and dreadful to
acknowledge that we are on a one-way time machine which is always moving
forward and never backward, we can never take back things we did nor go back on
hasty decisions we made. However, we have no choice but to accept the fact that
life is too short. To dwell on depression, discontent and regret would be a
waste of our precious borrowed time. Instead we should forgive ourselves and
those who hurt us in the past, count our blessings and make the most of what we
have. We should never lose hope, for as long as we still breathe, we have the
opportunity to make up for our misdeeds, rectify certain wrongdoings and shape
our future to how we desire it to be.