Rants, Raves & Restless Thoughts

It feels like an eternity since I last posted an entry, a plethora of ideas swarm my head as I try to figure out what topic to compose. I type them down and end up with an abundance of unfinished introductions. I find it hard to keep my thoughts together, my muse is depression and lately I haven’t been down in the dumps. A few days ago, someone commented that most of my entries are somewhat depressing and somehow reflects that working away from home is eating me up. I review my compositions and couldn’t help but agree that the assessment was fairly accurate, I do recall writing a handful of these entries at certain moments when I was feeling quite melancholic, utterly homesick and bored to death. Depression was an ailment I had to contend with and putting my thoughts in writing was the just what the doctor ordered.

In retrospect I see it as a stage of transition similar to the feeling of a student moving to a new school, leaving everything and everyone familiar behind and readjusting to a new environment and different people. It has been very challenging to start anew in unfamiliar surroundings with foreign traditions. Acclimatizing to the local weather conditions was among the first of many daunting tasks I had to face, the extreme heat of summer and sudden change to the cold nights of ‘winter’ left me sick for almost a week during my first encounter with the change of the seasons. With no one to rely on for care, I had to force myself to drink medication on time and eat even if I had no appetite. It was a rude awakening to self sufficiency.

Working in an interracial environment for the first time was another challenge I had to wrestle with, dealing with Cypriot, British, Indian and Arabic co-workers and clients with their diverse customs and oftentimes strange diction, proved to be interesting and at certain times burdensome. I had to be sharp when listening to my Scottish boss’ instructions as his accent was tricky to decipher and at the same time I had to learn the local ‘carabao’ English jargon as most Indian subordinates, Cypriot foremen as well as Arabs couldn’t comprehend direction delivered with proper English grammar.

Assimilating the job however was almost an effortless adjustment, as the job here compared to work back home is quite unalike in terms of workload. Work here is limited to what is cited in one’s job description whereas back home, one needs to be a multi-tasking master to be competitive in his career. In a sense we are paid better for lesser work in contrast to jobs back home where we are paid less for more work. I feel privileged to be given an opportunity to work in an international environment, it has been an enlightening experience to be acquainted with global standards and exposure to high tech construction methods has been fascinating.

The greatest challenge I had to overcome has been (and at times still is) boredom and homesickness. The longing for home brought about by boredom causes serious depression streaks. Filling the void which used to be dedicated to either family or friends has been an arduous undertaking. Oftentimes, the idle time after work leaves the impression that the night seems longer than the day. Thankfully my previous vacation supplied me with ample inspiration to last another year away from home.

So as I began my second year as an overseas contract worker, I felt the need to subdue the beast that is boredom and I have found the perfect weapon, the sword of acceptance. I have finally accepted that working away from home is part of my fate and would probably last longer than I have initially planned. Thus instead of wallowing in despair, I have sought out ways to resolve my predicament. We applied for a broadband internet connection not so long ago and it has been very beneficial in the battle against boredom. Surfing the net and downloading ‘stuff’ has been an effective way to while away the time, not to mention a powerful tool for keeping in touch with family and friends. It has been very advantageous to be able to exchange real time instant messages and e-mails with family, relatives and long lost friends, it substantially helps curb the longing for home. Aside from net surfing, I have started going to the gym recently, keeping fit while killing the time is like hitting two birds with one stone. In addition, I have been very fortunate to be blessed with a wonderful circle of supportive friends whom I treat as my surrogate family here in Qatar. Our Thursday gatherings and impromptu coffee sessions give us not only the much needed break from the monotony of our daily routine but also an opportunity to build camaraderie.

It has been a long and painstaking journey towards the acceptance of my life as an overseas contract worker, but it is inevitable. It is a choice I have made and have to live with. Over time I have come to appreciate the advantages of working abroad and realized that the series of events which lead me here is part of a grand design which will eventually reveal itself. I pin my hopes on the fact that everything is fleeting, even working away from my loved ones. I set my sights on the future, when I have met the needs of those who rely on me and accomplished the goals I have set, when all that is left is to reap the rewards of my sacrifice. Until that time comes, I shall at all times don my helmet with honor, bear my armor with courage, sword and shield always at hand battle ready to strike down any challenge that come my way.